A Moment of Honesty

Happy Thursday! Over the past few weeks, my Thursday posts have become a place for me to really get on my “soap box” and talk about the issues that have been on my mind and heart. I tend to be a very passionate person, and I often have an opinion about many of the issues I come into contact with from day to day, so I have really enjoyed being able to share those with you, and hopefully inspire you to really look at them differently. And for the time being, I will continue to do that whenever I have something to say. Hopefully you—my lovely readers—enjoy reading those kinds of posts.

Stealing Time

 If you have followed my blog with any degree of regularity over the past few years, I’m sure you have noticed the ebb and flow of my dedication to it. Some months—or years—I have posted regularly, and kept up with my reading, writing, and linkups, while others I have let it fall to the wayside and have done well to post at all. Mostly, this is because I have been in college (and technically I still am once summer break is over, I have one year left), but it is also because I haven’t been very faithful to use the gifts and talents that God has given me. I have quite a few hobbies, and while it is difficult to devote a decent amount of time to all of them on a regular basis, more lately, I have found myself completely neglecting to devote any time to them at all. The way this blog has gone over the past year or so in particular is an example of this.

 However, God has been tugging at my heart lately, reminding me of all of the things that He has created in me a love to pursue. More importantly, He has been gently nudging me to take a good look at how I choose to spend my time. Actually, He has been instructing me to take stock of my life and how I live it for quite some time now, but I have been a lot slower to listen. Why? Because I’m comfortable. Because I like spending my time however I like. Because I don’t necessarily enjoy being convicted. While all of those statements remain true today, I can’t actually let them govern my life. There is always going to be something I need to work on. And change is never going to be something I really enjoy. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, my life isn’t my own. I know that. Besides, God’s plans always turn out to be even bigger than my dreams (which is a topic I want to cover again, more in depth, on another day), so deep down I know that my best option is always to respond to God’s gentle prodding.

New Direction

This morning, I find myself at a crossroads. (And I'm sharing this picture of the beach because that is where I do my best thinking. And I just love it). I love this blog, and I love reviewing books and sharing what I read, but I’m just not sure if I am going to continue with my blog the way that it currently is. Book reviews are great, and I love sharing them, and I will always post my reviews on Goodreads and other bookish sites that I frequent. But do I need a blog only to share my reviews whenever I happen to finish a book? That seems to be giving my blog too small of a purpose. What about actually making this blog into something? That’s also a thought that has crossed my mind a few times. What if I keep the book focus, but make it into something more? I love the idea of that, but do I have the time? I feel like there’s always something going on, between work, school, ministry, relationships, and everything else that clutters up our lives, and I’m just not sure if I would remain devoted to my blog or if it would get pushed too far down on my list of priorities.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, this is what I’m praying about right now. I'm praying about whether or not I should take this blog in a new direction, develop the old one, or just let it go. I’m trying to decide what I think the best thing to do is, and if I do decide to move forward with this blog, what exactly I feel like I should write about. And how much of a focus I want to have on books moving forward. Of course, if I do move forward with the blog, I will continue to post my reviews here every time I read something. However, I’m not sure if I want to keep the focus purely on books, or if I want to transition more into a focus on things that are more life-applicable. Like things God has been teaching me. Or things I have learned as I’ve gone through my life. Or just advice.

I have a lot to think about, and I’ve actually been thinking about this for a few weeks now. So, what I think I have decided for now, is to just give being consistent a try for now. I’m going to continue posting reviews—probably one book a week for now—and I’m going to get back into Top Ten Tuesday (on the That Artsy Reader Girl blog), and I think I’ll add one post a week where I just talk about life. That way, I’ll still keep up with my reviews, I’ll still be talking about books, but I’ll also be talking about reality. Because I have a lot to comment on that as well. Oh, and of course, I will still be keeping up my monthly Must-Have posts. Because I absolutely love talking about new releases. And that’s how I keep up with what’s coming out in the months to come.

So, I hope you’ll join me on this journey! I can’t promise that it will be smooth the first couple of weeks, and there will probably be a few bumps when I start back to school, but this is the plan for now, and I’m going to do my best to hold myself to it! Unless I feel like God is calling me to take a different direction of course. But for now, I’ll still be here! And I’d love to hear from you, about anything, whether it’s about books or life or what I’m writing or anything in between!

Happy reading!

To see where I’m linking up, check out my Where I Party page.

Currently—May

        I can’t believe it’s already May! Although I am so glad that it is, it doesn’t feel possible that it is already this late in the year! It feels like it was just New Year’s, and yet, here we are, with summer fast approaching and warmer weather upon us. Here’s what I’m currently up to this May!

Celebrating: I’m celebrating that I’m finally on summer break! I’ve worked so hard on homework and class assignments for what seems like forever, so I’m so glad to finally have a lengthy break stretching before me. There are no limits to all of the things I can accomplish!

Struggles

                So, this being my first post on this blog, I thought I would say a little about what my goal is before starting. My goal with this blog is to obviously spread God's grace, and to use this blog as something sort of like a journal. To just post whatever I'm feeling or thinking, to talk about books I'm absolutely in love with because I'm a HUGE reader, to try to use it to share my Savior with others, and to hopefully make a few people laugh. Oh, and I write, so there will be plenty of insider bits about my books and such, one of which I will hopefully finish soon so I can put it on Amazon. Exciting, right?

               Anyway, today I want to talk a bit about struggles, particularly my own. I'm not going to go into detail, but I've had a bit of a revelation today that was a long time in coming. It goes a bit like this: No matter who sins against you, no matter how irritating it is, no matter how badly you've been misunderstood, your job isn't to rant, rave, and complain to God about how annoying, hurtful, and disappointing it is. Your job is to think back to how you sinned in those moments, and to work on what you did wrong, whether that feels like the main issue or not.

          Obviously, I’m not just preaching this to you, this is an issue for me, too. Shocker, right? Every time someone irritates me, particularly the people I’m related to, I think about where they went wrong in the situation; how they sinned. And, let me tell you a little secret, that’s the natural human reaction. That’s the way we all automatically react. We don’t normally have an argument with our mothers, then look back and think, ‘Oh, I did this and this wrong, that’s why we argued.’ We, or at least I, think, ‘Well, she did this, and she said this, and that wasn’t Christ-like.’

          Honestly, I don’t want to look back at an argument and pick out all the places where I went wrong. I want to tell myself that I wasn’t really all that wrong, that the person I was arguing with really did most of the sinning. But, truth is, whether she/he, or I, did most of the sinning, my focus still should be on my own sins. It doesn’t matter what she/he did, I still have to answer to God for what I did. I can’t make amends for my sins by turning to God and saying, ‘So-and-so made me mad because she/he said this and did that, so whatever I did wrong was simply because of what she/he did. I have no fault in the matter whatsoever.’ That sound familiar?

          Maybe this time you said something out of anger that shouldn’t have been said, or you used an unforgiving tone, or you had a bad attitude. Whatever the case may be, and no matter what the other person did, I’m sure you played a part in the problem as well. In my opinion, if you can’t honestly say you did exactly what these verses say: ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love… In your anger do not sin. Don not let the sun go down while you are still angry… Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,’-Ephesians 4:2, 26, & 29- you have at least one thing you need to repent.

I’m not trying to guilt-trip anyone, but as Christians, we should help and teach each other. So with these words, I’m hopefully teaching someone what I’ve just learned, and maybe finding someone willing to go into this with me and keep me accountable. It’s not always easy, that I live out day to day, but it will be worth it in the end. Because some day you will be able to stand and say, ‘Even when Satan used others to try to test me, I obeyed my Father and didn’t sin in my anger or frustration.’ That is so worth struggling for.

          (Now, to go along with what I said in the first paragraph, I would love to share a bit of insider information about the book I’m writing, which won’t be my first, but it will be my first on Amazon. So, if you are at all curious what Lives Changed is about, leave a comment. I will write a post with a synopsis of the book as soon as I get TEN comments. I love challenges, so get to it, and expect more in the future!)

Mackenzie